Most of what made Black Pearl a hit - - clever dialogue and great chemistry - - failed to surface in Dead Man’s Chest. Instead, this sequel is merely a drawn-out demonstration in buffoonery and ineptly delivered lines. From the opening scenes between Elizabeth (Keira) and Will (Orlando) it is clear that this movie is a dud; there is not a drop of passion between the two even though they are about to be wed. And it is a welcome, wonderful intrusion when the two are arrested, for at least we are momentarily spared more of their uncomfortable exchanges.

Still, in spite of the sinking feeling in my gut, I held out hope for the appearance of Captain Jack (Johnny). But, not even the incredibly gifted Johnny Depp could resurrect this film from the doldrums of the ridiculous and unfortunately, he seems to become a little absurd along with most everything else. In Dead Man’s Chest, we find Jack’s thirteen years of leading the Black Pearl helm ending and the heartless ghost Davy Jones on a relentless hunt to claim Jack’s soul. True to character, Jack tries to run while searching for the chest and manipulating those around him with his bandit charm. Meanwhile, Will is also looking for Jack and the chest as bargaining tools to free himself and Elizabeth from their death sentences and along the way finds his cursed father, Bootstrap Bill (Stellan). Adding to the chase is Norrington (Jack) who has returned broken and beaten and wants the contents of the chest to recover from his political fall and romantic embarrassment.

This movie is really bad. The jokes are stale and redundant. Characters’ lines border on being as absurd as those in Titanic and Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones . Scenes go on for what seems like a near lifetime. And the temper tantrum that Elizabeth throws on the beach, while the guys fight it out, is so preposterous that I finally did laugh - in disbelief that I had wasted $11 on this movie. I could have had a Martini.

The only redeeming qualities of Dead Man’s Chest are the surprising arrival of the embittered, bearded Norrington and the stunts, which were as swashbuckling action should be: flamboyant and outrageous. However, this was not enough to make this movie fun to watch and not even with a free ticket will I waste anymore time on this tale. Oh, if only Jones’ Kragen could have crushed this film before it hit the big screen. Part 3, to be released in 2007, will definitely have at least one less patron.